Erotic Bedroom Commands: Sexy Things to Say During BDSM

If you’ve ever been in the middle of a steamy BDSM scene and thought, “I wish I knew the right words to say right now,” you’re not alone. Talking dirty in a BDSM context isn’t just about being naughty—it’s about control, power, surrender, and feeding into your partner’s desires. The right command or phrase can heighten arousal, intensify the dynamic, and turn a good session into something absolutely unforgettable.

Think of this as a little cheat sheet from a friend who’s been there, done that, and learned that words are just as powerful as whips, cuffs, or rope. Whether you’re a Dom looking to sharpen your verbal edge, or a sub wanting to respond in a way that sends shivers down spines, I’ve got you covered.

Why Words Matter in BDSM

Before diving into the juicy stuff, let’s talk about why words are such a big deal in power play.

1. Commands create control – When a Dom says “Kneel” or “Look at me,” it instantly shifts the dynamic. It reinforces authority without needing to lift a finger.

2. Words guide the scene – Commands keep everything flowing. They direct where hands go, when to move, and how the energy builds.

3. Verbal play heightens anticipation – A whispered “Don’t you dare move” while you’re tied up? That can be more electrifying than the restraints themselves.

4. Language is intimate – It’s tailored to your partner. The words you choose become part of your private dictionary of desire.

So, let’s break down the types of commands and examples you can use to make your playtime hotter and more connected.

The Basics: Simple and Direct Commands

Sometimes, less is more. Short, firm words can carry more weight than a long speech. These are your go-to classics:

• “Kneel.” (A staple. Strips away pretense and sets the tone instantly.)

• “Hands behind your back.” (Perfect for restraint or just giving that submissive posture.)

• “Don’t move.” (Creates delicious tension—your partner will hang on your next move.)

• “Look at me.” (Eye contact during power exchange is intoxicating.)

• “Spread.” (Short, blunt, and erotic.)

  
  

These commands work best when said with confidence. The tone matters: firm, calm, and with just enough edge that your partner knows you mean business.

Adding Spice: Sensual and Teasing Commands

Once you’ve got the basics down, you can get more playful. These commands mix dominance with seduction:

• “Beg for it.” (Nothing gets the heart racing like having to ask for what you want.)

• “Tell me how badly you want me.” (Opens up communication while keeping power dynamic.)

• “Stay still while I touch you.” (Turns a simple caress into torture-level teasing.)

• “Moan for me.” (Invites your partner to be expressive, feeding your control and their release.)

• “Don’t come until I say.” (Classic edging command—hot, challenging, and oh-so-rewarding.)

  
  

The beauty of these commands is they engage the submissive’s mind as well as their body. It forces them into a state of focus and surrender.

Creative Roleplay Commands

BDSM thrives on roleplay, and your words can transform the scene. Depending on your dynamic—Teacher/Student, Boss/Employee, Master/Pet—you can adjust your language to fit the fantasy.

• Teacher/Student:

  • “Read that line out loud for me, slower.”

  • “After you’re done, you’ll stay after for extra lessons.”

• Boss/Employee:

  • “You’re working overtime tonight, and I expect your full attention.”

  • “Sit on my desk and don’t speak until I say.”

• Master/Pet:

  • “Good girl/boy. Crawl to me.”

  • “Stay on your leash until I give permission.”

• Interrogator/Prisoner:

  • “Answer the question, or I’ll make you.”

  • “Hands behind your head—don’t even think about resisting.”

    
    

Play with tone here. A whisper in the ear can be just as powerful as a barked order, depending on the vibe you’re building.

The Power of Praise and Correction

Commands aren’t only about control—they’re also about shaping behavior. Knowing when to praise and when to correct keeps the dynamic balanced.

Praise examples:

• “Good girl, just like that.”

• “You did that perfectly for me.”

• “That’s exactly what I wanted.”

Correction examples:

• “Try again. Slower this time.”

• “That’s not how I told you to do it.”

• “Count louder so I can hear you.”

  
  

Mixing commands with praise and correction creates a feedback loop that makes your submissive crave more direction.

Dirty Talk Meets BDSM Commands

Dirty talk doesn’t have to be separate from commands—in fact, blending them makes everything hotter. Instead of just saying “Kneel,” try:

• “Kneel and show me how much you need me.”

• “Stay still while I make you beg for release.”

• “Spread those legs wider, I want to see everything.”

  
  

Adding a descriptive or filthy twist not only reinforces the command but makes it feel more personal and charged with erotic energy.

Tips for Giving Sexy Commands

1. Confidence is key. Even if you’re nervous, fake it at first. The authority in your voice matters as much as the words.

2. Use your partner’s language. Some subs melt at “slut” or “pet,” while others prefer softer terms. Tailor it.

3. Keep consent at the core. Establish safe words and check-ins before play. You want the words to be hot, not harmful.

4. Start small. If you’re new, begin with basic commands like “look at me” and build up.

5. Experiment with tone. Whisper, growl, command—each creates a different effect.

   
   

A Quick Word on Submissive Responses

If you’re the one taking orders, your words matter too. Responding verbally keeps the energy flowing. Try:

• “Yes, Sir/Ma’am.”

• “Thank you.”

• “Please.”

• “I’ll be good.”

• “I want more.”

  
  

A submissive who responds with eager, respectful, or pleading words fuels the Dom’s confidence and deepens the dynamic.

Bringing It All Together

Commands in BDSM aren’t just about being bossy or dramatic—they’re about crafting an experience with your partner. The right words at the right moment can amplify intensity, deepen intimacy, and make your sessions unforgettable.

Think of commands as your personal soundtrack to playtime: they set the rhythm, the tone, and the pace. Start simple, build your vocabulary, and don’t be afraid to get creative. Trust me, once you start exploring erotic commands, you’ll never look at “dirty talk” the same way again.

So next time you’re in the bedroom (or wherever your kink takes you), try slipping in a firm “Don’t move” or a sultry “Beg for it.” You might be surprised just how powerful your voice can be.

✨ Now it’s your turn—what’s the sexiest thing you’ve ever been told during play? Or better yet, what command are you dying to try out tonight?